So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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