i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
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Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
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I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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