it wasn't lemon gatorade
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
