Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
