i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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