foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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