Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
