By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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