he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
