I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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