party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
50% drunk capacity currently
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
