CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
