i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
