i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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