Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
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I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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