ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
