I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
