Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
