i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
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He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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