remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
