8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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