sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
