I wish my penis had an off switch
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Randomize
