so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
