idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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