He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
