well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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