if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
did you just send me my own nude
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.