She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.