I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you