Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Randomize
