You're a womanizer and a bitch.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise