i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
