as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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