It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
