Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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