on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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