I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
