I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The cops high fived after they tackled you
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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