I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
