drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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