I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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