I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
