Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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