he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
