did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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