Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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