pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
