I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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