so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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