i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize