His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize