oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
