fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
