Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
