...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
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