I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
