For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go