I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
Hahaha April fools!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.