Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
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i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
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It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif