why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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