hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.