While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
