Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
