when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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