It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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