Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
