my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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